Austin Government Says Police Have to Knock First Before Arresting Birth Control Users

Elon Musk, Number #1 Boy

Report: Big Vampire Lobbyists are the Reason Why We Still Observe Daylight Savings

Middle Schooler Ruins Bible Study by Telling the Truth

Area Man Forgets

Scientist Develops ‘Minority Report’ Machine to Predict Which Bagels She Will Eat in the Future

Nation Spends Labor Day Checking Work Email

Opinion: Stop Believing in Democracy

How to Teach Your Children to See Flying For The Sin Against God That It Is

Report Finds That 93% of All International Business Travel is Done to Escape the ‘It Follows’ Entity

Poll: What Problem Should Elon Musk ‘Solve’ Next?

Safety Instructor Assures Class That Guns Only Kill People That You Shoot

BREAKING: Texas Governor Greg Abbott Passes New Law That Makes Cussing Illegal

Area Woman’s Lifelong Dream is to Die on a Carnival Cruise Ship

Tucker Carlson to be Featured on MTV’s Revival of Hit Show ‘Crabs’

Opinion: Why I Think We Should Put on the Green Teotihuacan Mask to Save the World

Libertarian Man Believes in His Individual Freedom to be a Complete Dingus

Eight Men Named ‘Gregg’ & Their Reactions When We Told Them Their Name is Short for ‘Great Egg’

Tumblr Rebrands as GateKeepr.com in Attempt to Turn Site Around

Paranormal Researchers Discover the Real Reason Why Cats Get Hairballs

I Work for The Joker as His Playing Card Consultant – Ask Me Anything